Showing posts with label job. Show all posts
Showing posts with label job. Show all posts

Monday, January 11, 2010

Never Say Never

For years I worked as a university academic advisor.  At one national conference I remember looking at the athletic department academic advisors and thinking "That's one job I never want to have."  Fast forward a couple of years, and guess what.  Yup, I was hired as an academic advisor in a university athletic department... and I loved it.  

Similarly I always thought that the worst thing that could happen would be for both of us to be out of work at the same time.  Now we're in that situation and...  well, it sucks.  I will admit that.  But, it's not as bad as I thought it would be.  

For one thing we've really had the chance to spend time with each other for the first time in a very long time.  Sure, there are a couple of things that drive us nuts about the other, but mostly it's been a real treat.  

We're also using this time to talk about what's important to us.  It's interesting how our guiding values lose their central position when we're distracted by the minutiae of everyday life.  I'm grateful that we've had the chance to sit down and evaluate our lives so clearly.  I don't want to have to go through a job loss again to find this new clarity of thought and purpose, but I have to admit that this has been good for us to do.  

So what's different now?  I'm going to try to never say never about anything because of the unexpected benefits new situations bring.  

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Is Piano Essential?

You're probably familiar with homeschooling, and of course you know what private schools are, but you may not have heard of something called afterschooling. In a nutshell you look at what your child's school does well and supplement with afterschool, summer school, winter break and weekend activities. For example, if art education has been cut waaaaay back in your school district, you might choose to enroll the kid(s) in an art class through Parks and Rec. If the organized sports are less than sporting, chances are there is an athletic league that fits your family's bracket. The point is, kids' activities outside of school help round out the kid.

Well, all that is fine and dandy when you have a steady paycheck and time to play taxi mom. What happens when the purse strings tighten up? Our family is cutting back to the bare essentials – no more audible.com, traded in the Blockbuster movie pass for Netflix on demand, and are eating in (except for things like potlucks, networking lunches, and dinner with friends.) Those were easy decisions to make. Far more difficult is looking at our munchkin's schedule and deciding what stays and what goes.

The first thing we did is to look at all the family activities to see what is free and what isn't. Free activities are easy to keep on the schedule unless they have secondary costs associated with them like travel time (gas money) or entry fees. Most school clubs such as chess club and drama club are free, although many of them will have fundraisers to help with activity costs.

Next we considered the long term benefits of the activities that have a fee. An out of work friend said “I'd sell my teeth to keep my girls in ballet” and I would probably do the same for our son's piano lessons. Generally the more organized an activity is, the more likely it is to have scholarships or fee waivers. The application process can be as simple as a check box on the registration form or may be as complicated as a separate form, interview, and income verification. When you're signing the kids up for karate or baseball, take a look at the form to see if there is any mention of scholarships or fee waivers. If there isn't, ask the person collecting the registrations if that option is available. If you don't want to ask in front of the kids, try calling in. A lot of times you can ask over the phone and don't even have to leave your name or give any personal details. If you haven't already done so, check with the school to see if your lowered income qualifies your family for free or reduced price lunch. Eligibility for free/reduced price lunch qualifies many kids for automatic fee waivers and reductions for a lot of programs, especially those that are run by city or state departments like Parks & Recreation.

Activities that are less structured may not have a formal scholarship or fee waiver process, but chances are that fees can still be negotiated. Start out by talking to your child's instructor.  To avoid embarrassment you may want to do this over the phone or have the kids wait outside while you talk. Explain your situation and ask if it is possible to reduce or waive the tuition. The instructor probably has other students in the same situation you are in, but even if he doesn't, he may be willing to come to an arrangement.

Keep in mind that some or all of this may be a little uncomfortable for you. Don't be afraid to write out what you want to say. Practice it in front of the mirror or have it in front of you when you make a call. Keep in mind that you're doing it for your children, and they will reap the benefits for the rest of their lives.

Times will get better, and when they do, please return the support of the people and organizations that supported you and your family.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Pregnant

Losing Your Job Is Kind of Like Being Pregnant...

So we started telling people that he lost his job... and it turned out that pretty much everyone has lost a job at one time or another.  Here's a typical conversation:

"Hi!  How've you been?  It feels like forever since we saw you last."

"Um.  Actually, I'm not sure if you knew but my husband lost his job."

"Oh.  I'm so sorry to hear that."

At this point one of two things happen.  Either the person looks left and right and starts to back away from the jobless person, or (and this has happened more times than I ever would have imagined possible!) the person leans in and says, "I (or my partner, spouse, brother, mother, father, lover, neighbor) lost my (his her its) job, too.  It's the best thing that ever happened to me (him, her, it)."

What?! I guess not having a job is kind of like being pregnant.  Before you get knocked up you never notice anyone pregnant unless they are in your face, and I mean IN YOUR FACE.  After you realize that you indeed have conceived, you suddenly notice that pregnant women are all around you.  Well, once we started networking (which has lately become meeting for a cup of 99 cent coffee instead of lunch) we discovered that the formerly jobless were all around.  They had some great advice, too, but I'll save that for a later post.

By the way, I'm not pregnant and (neither is he).  Just in case you were wondering but didn't want to ask.

Caesar

Render unto Caesar the things which are Caesar’s, and unto God the things that are God’s (“Ἀπόδοτε οὖν τὰ Καίσαρος Καίσαρι καὶ τὰ τοῦ Θεοῦ τῷ Θεῷ”) (Matthew 22:21).

I know this is probably going to come up sooner or later, so I figured I ought to just address it now: Why is your blog called Me, Family, World. Shouldn't it be God, Family, Country, Self? Well.... someone far wiser than I said “Render unto Caesar the things which are Caesar’s, and unto God the things that are God’s” Basically, this is a blog about what's happening to me, our family, and our relationships with the outside world. I'm not blogging about my faith. Oh yeah, and the folks that do google “God, Family, Country, Self” probably won't be too thrilled with my blog. That's it. You're probably going to hear plenty about our church in the posts to come, but I'll try to keep the focus on our daily lives and adapting to being jobless and out of the pews.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

You Need to Come Home Now

I had just finished a committee meeting at our son's school and was discussing lunch plans with the group when I got a phone call from my husband.

"You need to come home now."

I knew he had a meeting with Human Resources that morning, but this didn't sound good. I had walked to the school that morning, figuring that I could catch a ride home with one of the committee members, but when I looked around I realized everyone had already left. I put the phone away and started my walk home.

I'm not a patient person, so about 5 minutes into my walk I called him to ask what had happened. “They fired me.”

It's a good thing I was walking, because if I'd just been standing I probably would have fallen over. We'd moved across the country and had bought a new house in a new town barely more than a year ago for this job, and he had the only income in the family.

He went on, giving the details of his morning. What struck me was how the note of stress that had been present in his voice for months was completely gone. Gone. He sounded like a different man.

I finally got home and he looked like a different man. He'd been getting more and more serious as the budget cuts grew deeper and deeper. In front of me was my husband, but not the serious husband of the last year, but one who was laughing. To say I was surprised was an understatement.